One Heart

Valentines day hearts on wooden background

I love love.

For those who are in a relationship, new or old, my heart is happy for you. For those who are single and contented with who they are and where they are in life, my heart jumps for you. For those of you who are single and longing for someone to share their life with, my heart feels for you. To those singles, specifically, I want to share something with you.

Sure, I can just simply say, “be patient, it will happen for you,” and I wholeheartedly believe that it will, but you don’t want to hear that. Most definitely not on Valentine’s Day. I will, however, tell you something that I have learned about myself being single.

The relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you need. Why? Because understanding who you are as a person only benefits your relationships with everyone else. Fully knowing, accepting, and loving yourself brings in more acceptance and love from others.

As a single person, don’t be afraid to tap in and get to know everything there is to know about you. You have this amazing opportunity to fully get to know this person you have to live with every day of your life. Take it! Discover what you are passionate about. What does your heart truly desire? It could be something that you have thought about since you were a kid and it never left you. What is that, what is stopping you from doing it now?

As the biggest procrastinator I know, it took me until the age of 32 to light a fire under my butt. Seriously. Even last year, my 33rd year, I wasted a whole bunch of time. It became very clear to me that when I am attracted to someone I become very distracted. Almost like I lose myself and forget about all the things I was working on. This told me that although I may feel ready to bring someone into my life, I am not. You shouldn’t be losing who you are for someone else. Period. The truth here is that I want to share my life with someone. I want a partner, a companion, and someone to love for everything they are and visa versa. I want that. My heart wants that. Because of that, I undoubtedly believe that it will happen some day. Maybe it won’t be until the last 10 years of my life, but regardless, it will happen.

So I prayed, really prayed and meant it, for no distractions and a drive to live the life I want. For years I have wanted to do so many things and discover my purpose on this earth. For too long I have talked about doing all of these things and wallowed in feelings of being stuck forever. But here’s the deal: right now is the best time. I have no significant other, no children, no mortgage, nothing tying me to anything. I’ve got all this time right now to find out what I am totally capable of as an individual. The best part is, I have nothing to lose! YOU, my single 30 somethings, have nothing to lose.

Move to that place you have always wanted to live.
Apply for a job you know you’ll love.
Go back to school.
Travel to those places you have always wanted to go.
Surround yourself with people who build you up.
Let go of distractions and things that make you feel stuck.
Face the ugly truths about yourself and make steps to change (this one’s a hard one to face, I’m not gonna lie).
Take steps, even small ones, to get you where you really want to be.

Whatever it is, now is the perfect time to focus on yourself. Learn all the ins and outs and embrace them. Who knows, you may actually like this person. I know I do. I’ve got a lot of plans in the works and I can’t wait to see what happens for me this year.

So if you’re feeling alone this Valentine’s Day and wish that you had someone to share it with, know that I understand what you are going through. My advice to you today is take time to love yourself. You’re actually probably pretty awesome just as you are, right now, this very moment. No one can compete with that.

With all my love, Happy Valentine’s day ❤

xx Tammy

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